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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Flip-flops

I have this "thing" about flip-flops.  Well, really it's not about flip-flops as much as it is about people who wear them. Ok, really it's only about the FEET of the people who wear them. Now, all of you flip-flop wearers out there, I mean you no offense - I know they're comfortable but there are some rules that need to be followed:


1.  If your toes point in all different directions, especially if those misdirected toes are on the same foot, please do NOT wear flip-flops


2.  If your toe nails are one of the following colors - green, yellow or off white, and you are NOT wearing nail polish, please to NOT wear flip-flops. 


3.  If you cannot pick up your feet like a normal person when you walk, please do not subject me to the constant horse clopping sounds - it drives me completely insane. 


4.  If half of your foot is hanging off the back, or the front, get a different size.  If half of your foot is hanging off the SIDE, then there's really no hope for you and please wear SHOES.  


5.  If you are wearing business attire, or even FORMAL attire (and yes bridesmaids, this applies to you too) Flip-flops are really not appropriate.  Something in a nice strappy sandal would be nice.  Unless you are a man.  


6.  People people people, it is never appropriate to wear SOCKS with flip-flops. I don't even know HOW you do it, but I have seen you freaks out there. I know you know who I'm talking about.  Just stop it.  If you know you have ugly feet, so you think you're protecting us from having to view your sideways toes or yellow toe nails or whatever, thank you.  But you look like a freak with the socks anyway. Here's a suggestion - why don't you wear ::GASP:: sneakers.  


Thank you for your consideration - the constant pouring of bleach into my eyeballs from looking at your freak feet is starting to wear me out. 

14 comments:

Khyra, Khousin Merdie, And Sometimes Her Mom said...

You remember toe socks...

I'm guessing they make flipflopsocks ;-)

I'm with you on THAT sound...

Derby, Ducky said...

#2 is great and don't the Japanese routinely wear socks with their sandels? Mum can't stand the thingy between her toes, so no flipper flops for her.

Thumper said...

Eh...add to it they're actually bad for your feet, pressing on a major nerve. Wear sandals, they're safer...

Kea said...

I think it's more common in European countries to wear socks with sandals, though I confess I've never seen socks with flip flops. I have no idea how that could be managed, either.

I have a "thing" about feet--not a fetish, just that a lot of feet I see make me shudder. Especially when the toe nails are disgusting. *gag*

Yes, more people need to be wearing shoes. Or even sandals that simply cover more of the foot than flip flops. LOL.

Eric and Flynn said...

Ugh! Just the name makes me shudder!

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

JUST SAY NO TO THE FLIP FLOP! I couldn't agree with you more. How about an blog on people who SNAP their gum.....shudder shudder!

Great writing as always!

Deb

Barb said...

My Dad doesn't wear flip-flops, but he does wear socks and sandals! hahahaha!

And now I must get myself to the nail salon and get a pedi, immediately if not sooner. I still have ::gasp:: winter toes. Oh, the shame!

Hannah and Lucy said...

I thought you could buy socks to wear with flip flops/toepost sandals but could just have dreamed that you could. British people are notorious sandal and sock wearers - I hasten to add I am definitely NOT one of these!!

chezcat1970 said...

I totally agree--it should be a law about having nice looking feet when you are wearing sandals/flip-flops.

Noll's Nip said...

LOL....I can't stand the sound of ANY shoe that goes clip-clop. I really go bonkers when women click, clomp & drag their feet (especially in the grocery store where sound is magnified). One of these days I am going to yell "Pick up your feet!"

Junior and Orion said...

Well, Meowm wore socks with sandals last year, cause she was getting a toenail siuation handled and the toenails needed to breathe. Now that the toenail siuation is all cleared up, she wear sandals without socks----and she has painted toenails---purple---just sayin'.


But she does agree with you on the strangely arranged toes. And if your feet are dry as leather, and look it, you might want to consider wearing regular shoes and giving your feet a chance to heal up-----just sayin'.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

yeah, that!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Aunty Pol said...

OMG..I needed the laugh sweetie , I really did.

When the law firm that I work for went to bidness ( being in Texas and all) casual...I made the comment in the break room..loud enough for all to hear mind you..

" I'm personally glad that we can wear open toed and opened back sandals...I live in them. I just hope that some of the "ladies " here are smart enough to introduce their legs to Mr. Razor and their feet to Miss Pedicure."

Oh yes , I did.

I for one hate the slappity slap sound that the flip flops make,. My pair is reserved for the getting of the pedicure only...


And for heaven sake, pick up your bloody feet...shuffle shuffle shuffle away...begone !


Waves from Houston

Ariel said...

Lol...I couldn't agree with you more.