I have this "thing" about flip-flops. Well, really it's not about flip-flops as much as it is about people who wear them. Ok, really it's only about the FEET of the people who wear them. Now, all of you flip-flop wearers out there, I mean you no offense - I know they're comfortable but there are some rules that need to be followed:
1. If your toes point in all different directions, especially if those misdirected toes are on the same foot, please do NOT wear flip-flops
2. If your toe nails are one of the following colors - green, yellow or off white, and you are NOT wearing nail polish, please to NOT wear flip-flops.
3. If you cannot pick up your feet like a normal person when you walk, please do not subject me to the constant horse clopping sounds - it drives me completely insane.
4. If half of your foot is hanging off the back, or the front, get a different size. If half of your foot is hanging off the SIDE, then there's really no hope for you and please wear SHOES.
5. If you are wearing business attire, or even FORMAL attire (and yes bridesmaids, this applies to you too) Flip-flops are really not appropriate. Something in a nice strappy sandal would be nice. Unless you are a man.
6. People people people, it is never appropriate to wear SOCKS with flip-flops. I don't even know HOW you do it, but I have seen you freaks out there. I know you know who I'm talking about. Just stop it. If you know you have ugly feet, so you think you're protecting us from having to view your sideways toes or yellow toe nails or whatever, thank you. But you look like a freak with the socks anyway. Here's a suggestion - why don't you wear ::GASP:: sneakers.
Thank you for your consideration - the constant pouring of bleach into my eyeballs from looking at your freak feet is starting to wear me out.