Thursday, April 21, 2011

Random Thoughts of the day

I think I need a bigger bed - the cats are taking over my queen size bed and now I have less than the space of a twin bed for myself.  I think they like my sleep number bed more than I do

snow last week, windy and only in the 30's and 40's this week, could be 80 sometime next week, then SNOW right after that. Is it any wonder I get migraines?

hey, nasty dude across the street - if I EVER see you slap your 7 year old grandson in the face again you will have the cops on your ass so fast you won't know what hit you.  You are VERY lucky you were getting in the car to take him back to his momma and not getting out of the car.

My next door neighbor has the CUTEST 4 month old ever in the history of babies and I just want to squish his little cheeks!!!

why did i wake up with the "99 bottles of beer on the wall" song stuck in my brain?

I really think that my neighborhood is "Peyton Place".  I don't talk to many of my neighbors because they're all NUTS.  But I enjoy the show on a daily basis. Mostly.  Except nasty dude across the street.  He's got to GO.

I think that everyone at work now hates me because I am a Flyers fan and I work in Buffalo, and they are now tied 2-2 in their Stanley Cup playoff series.  Or maybe it's because I've worn orange and black every day this week and have a Flyers screen saver on my laptop.  No, I'm not passive-aggressive at all!

Every time I go to the donut place to get an iced coffee in the morning I feel like Sally Albright from "When Harry Met Sally" --  I'll have a large dark roast iced coffee with extra cream and a turbo shot, and 2 splenda packets on the side".  Yeah, I know 5:30 in the morning is a little early to deal with someone like me.  Sorry.  On the side is a big thing with me.

The sheep up the street are naked again.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Was it really wrong of me.........

It's a little early in the season for skateboarding, especially on our potholed road.  But I could not help laughing when our resident "skater dude" planted the front of his skateboard into the 9 inch deep pothole and did a flip over the speed bump.  It made me feel better about driving over it 4 days in a row and yelling "CRAP" each time.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Life in the crazy lane

Dear Neighbors

Yes, I finally took down my christmas lights Sunday! Until last week they were freaking FROZEN in the gutter.  So now you can all stop calling me the Redneck Woman.  But be forewarned, I just may plant plastic flowers in my yard just to piss you all off.  I have a few "observations" for all of you

MrPlayboyNeighborWhoLivesBehindMe - you are NOT fooling anyone when you drive your car around the corner to spend the night with your old high school sweetheart.  You could literally walk out your back door, go 100 steps and be at her house.  You are not fooling her parents who live on the other side of her duplex either.  Oh, and you are not fooling her when you have other lady friends over to your house.  Close the blinds dude!

MsAgingRockGroupie - Aren't you a little old to have your boyfriend and his "garage band" over every weekend to practice in your garage? Seriously, you both are in your 50's.

MrsMotherOf43ChildrenAcrossTheStreet - You presume to tell me you now have room for 4 dogs in that house with all of those kids? Really? I'm thinking that you have had them tunnel through the basement wall and have built an underground bunker over there to keep them all.

MrPsychoCorvetteOwner/DrugDealer - yes YOU.  We ALL know that you are dealing drugs.  You cannot fool us with that little piece of paper you taped over your peep window in your front door.  The constant stream of visitors you have that only stay for 2 minutes is kind of a give away.   I look forward to the SWAT team showing up at your door some morning at 4am.  Oh, and your Corvette is still a piece of crap.

WrestlemainaDudes - you all are in your late 20's - when will you realize that "professional" wrestling is FAKE??? Oh, and you the 28 year old- please please please do not ever go back to the orange and yellow dyed dreadlock look - you looked like Rasta McDonald.

Dear Neighbors in our Village - it's SPRING.  The farmers are out tending to their fields. Spreading manure around is common. It helps the crops grow. And it does smell.  Deal with it.  Do NOT send a petition around demanding that the farmers not spread manure in their fields that your house happens to be built next to.  Would your alternative in any way involve toilet training of farm animals? Because I would pay a LOT of money to watch you do that.