Why can't I get the Lucky Charms song out of my head? Oh, it's because they're magically delicious. That's right
My drunk ass neighbor's drunk ass 27 year old kid has cut and dyed his hair so that he now looks like Ronald McDonald. Why? Because he wants to be a pro wrestler. Like Hulk Hogan. Really. Oh. My. Freaking. God. And he wonders why he got fired from his job.
I cannot buy a shirt or sweater and NOT get a food stain on it the first time I wear it. I think I have an eating disorder.
I think I need some new shoes. I have about 50 pair of shoes. I actually wear 90% of them. Most of them I have had 10 or more years. The other 10% fit nicely exactly once, when I tried them on in the store.
I don't know what I'm going to do when my favorite thermal pajamas finally wear out. Victoria's Secret doesn't make them anymore and I've had them over 10 years.
My grocery store sells "scented" spa socks. Aromatherapy socks? that don't already smell like feet? Interestingly, my cats are afraid of my feet when I wear them. It's pretty hysterical.
Am I the only one who looks at teenagers with pierced faces and ear lobes with dinner plate sized holes that hang down to their shoulders and wonder how in the hell they're going to get a job and support themselves? I'm all for self expression, but having been a manager who hired people for a living for many years, looks are a very important impression.
It's winter and I'm in my annual "mashed potato" gorge fest. It's the only food that tastes good to me right now. What it's not good for? My blood sugar levels - diabetics should not exist on mashed potatoes alone.
Is it a bad thing when sometimes the only way I remember what day it is when my alarm clock so rudely interrupts me is by trying to remember what I watched on TV the night before?
Glurp. (really, that's one of my first thoughts when I wake up in the morning).