Dear poorly paid online support rep for my wireless carrier:
If I tell you that I got my spiffy (yet hopelessly BROKEN) phone TODAY, what did you expect my answer would be when you said "have you had it less than 30 days?". Don't leave the door open like that. And when I reply "well, since I got it TODAY, I would assume that 1 day is less than 30 days, correct?", don't get snotty with me - I'm the customer, I get to be snotty, not you. And then when I tell you 7 TIMES that the keypad on the phone is totally non functional, don't ask me again what the problem is. And THEN, don't piss me off with your snottiness yet again, give me a phone number to call and then expect a good review on your survery. I believe that the term "useless waste of an online rep who I'm sure really doesn't speak English at all" was tossed in there.
Dear Non-English speaking poorly paid phone rep for my wireless carrier: Listen lady, When I tell you my secret answer, and i KNOW it's right because I'm looking at it on my account page online, DON'T TELL ME IT'S WRONG. Learn to speak English and then get back to me.
Dear English speaking, poorly paid phone rep for my wireless carrier: yeah, you probably got the notes about my last call with Miss Non-English speaker, and Mr I don't know that 1 is less than 30: Thank you for actually getting my return processed and my new phone out to me. If I could I would give you a raise. You have restored my faith in your company. Oh, and thanks for the refund for the entire cost of the phone. You ROCK.